Two tragic losses left Lianne’s family reeling. Here’s how children’s picture book ‘The House in Ollie’s Tummy’ helped the family process their grief.
Lianne and Ronan with their daughter Isla – happily, the family welcomed baby boy Callum in 2022
Helping children process pregnancy or baby loss
Lianne and Ronan were happily married and became parents to a beautiful girl, Isla. But in 2020, when Isla was two, the family suffered the stillbirth of their daughter Ailie. Tragically, their third daughter Isobel was also stillborn in 2021 at 25 weeks gestation. Ailie and Isobel will forever remain part of their family. But how do you approach conversations about death and dying with a young child, when you as a parent are steeped in grief?
Every year, around 110,000 families in Australia suffer perinatal bereavement in the shape of miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. The loss of a baby is not only traumatic for parents but for siblings, too.
“It is difficult for parents to function after the death of a child, to say nothing of meeting the demands of their other children,” explains nurse Mary Jo Aumann. “Children’s grief may be compounded when faced with their parents’ vulnerability and grief.”
A mother’s testimonial
Though devastated, Lianne and Ronan decided to approach these difficult topics very openly with their eldest daughter Isla. They felt strongly that this was in her best interest.
“My daughter Isla and I enjoyed reading this book together,” says Lianne. “It brought up some feelings for us both, which we spoke about afterwards. The House in Ollie’s Tummy really reinforced the concept about feeling your feelings, and trying not to ignore them.
“As a grieving parent, I often block my feelings and keep myself busy, so that I don’t need to really feel them. The book reminded me that this is not necessarily the healthiest way of dealing with grief. I could 100% relate to the experiences of the mother’s character in the book.
“My husband Ronan read the book by himself and his first comment was that ‘it was much better than any of the books we got from the hospital’. This refers to the books we received from the hospital after our two stillbirths. We feel like those books were very abstract and didn’t really talk about death or grief. I feel like The House in Ollie’s Tummy will be an excellent tool for grieving families.”
Happily, in 2022 the family welcomed a baby boy, Callum. Lianne and Ronan will continue to talk openly about death and dying with their son and daughter.
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